Felix, Animal Lover Extrodinaire
by Asuya
Summary: Felix just lurves animals. Find out why as you discover what really happened during the trek to reach Islet Cave and attain the Catastrophe summon. You'll never look at sweet, adorable animals the same way again...


Felix sighed in exasperation at his latest mission. During the past few weeks he had scaled the heights of the Ankhol Ruins, wormed through the thick, putrid waters of the Taopo Swamp, braved the treacherous water currents and whirlpools of the Sea of Time only to be forced to fiercely battle the hot-headed semi-god of the seas, Poseidon. And now... now was the most challenging challenge yet. It would require all his brawns and brains and wits and guts and other mildly disgusting body organs located inside of him in order to accomplish. 

That in mind, Felix sighed again, and stepped onto the ice. 

Out there, on the ice, was an injured penguin waiting to be saved. Oh joy. 

"This... is so degrading," he grumbled under his breath with each cautious step. Back on the snow bank, he could've sworn he heard Sheba and Jenna giggle as they watched him make his way towards the penguin. Piers would've laughed too if the other penguin had not been jumping around all over him in panic. Slowly Felix treaded towards the penguin. Then Sheba had to go and call after him, "Nice skating, Felix!" The poor boy lost his balance when he turned around to yell back at her; this resulted in him slipping and speeding towards the log he had pushed off a cliff earlier. 

CRASH! 

WHUMP! 

The three Adepts all gasped, then burst out laughing while said poor boy jerkily stood up, rubbing where his head had hit when he had collided with the log and had been sent sprawling backwards. Stupid Adepts, what did they know about penguin saving anyway? 

Again he tried to make his way towards the Penguin Damsel in Distress. Again, he slipped and - 

"**WHOOOA!!** Ooof!" 

- fell. 

It took the whole afternoon before Felix had successfully managed to push the penguin back onto land. Even then it was unintentional: he had fell and slid into her. But whatever: the Penguin D.I.D. had been rescued. Her mate was still hopping frantically, but this time it was in genuine happiness, and it was his girlfriend being jumped on, not Piers. 

Felix sighed with relief. "Thank god." 

Yes, I quite agree. 

Then, with enough gratitude to knock down a cow, the penguin, with eyes nearly brimming with tears of joy, presented Felix with a token of his eternal appreciation. And Felix nearly cried at that. To think that he had worked so hard, and fallen so damn hard on the ice, and banged his knee so many god awful times just for **that**. 

I mean, really, what the hell does one on a mission to save the world do with a stone? 

"Wow, I swear that all those boxes and that puddle of water were all placed there intentionally," Jenna remarked, looking up at their self-constructed platform which reached the short vine on the wall. "It's as if some heavenly figure just wanted us to solve that puzzle or something." Ah, if only those at Camelot could've heard those words... 

Shielding her eyes from the sun with her hand, Sheba glanced upward and, biting her lip thoughtfully, wondered out loud, "What's up there? Treasure?" The Adepts exchanged looks, then all shouted out simultaneously, "NOSE GAME." Jenna and Sheba's hands zipped out to their noses instantly, with Piers following quickly. That left only Felix. Again. 

Felix sighed, poor boy. Grudgingly he hoisted himself up onto the makeshift platform and climbed onto the vine. As he made his way up the wall he prayed desperately that the vine would not snap - like last time. The memory of what had happened the time the vine broke still made him shudder whenever Jenna or Sheba or even Piers brought it up, which, unfortunately, was quite often. However, that day, the gods were smiling on him, and so he was able to climb up onto the high ledge. There, to his disbelief, was an empty nest. It was a rather cozy and clean nest, but a nest nonetheless. 

He inspected the nest carefully, searching for any treasure that might've aided him in his travels. Alas, there was none. From below Jenna gave a shout: "Oh! Look at that beautiful bird!" 

"It's flying towards Felix!" Sheba exclaimed. At this, Felix turned to look. Indeed, it was a pretty bird that was flying towards him. He stepped closer to examine it. Its ruby wings flapped gracefully in the air, as if it were some sort of celestial creature. 

What happened next came much too fast... 

"SQUAAAWK!!" 

As Jenna, Sheba, and Piers watched from below, their fearless leader fought fiercely with the pretty bird, who apparently thought that the intruder was trying to harm her nest. The bird succeeded in pushing Felix back... back... too far back. With a loud "WAAH!" Felix fell right off the ledge and onto his waiting comrades, reducing them to a heap of writhing and moaning bodies. 

Mmm, another typical day in a hero's life. 

It had taken so very long before Sheba could manage to communicate with the bird. By then the bird had calmed down considerably, and was in such a good mood that she was willing to take the stone off of Felix's hands, which cheered him up like no other. Then she had to go ruin it all by giving him a red neckerchief in return. And what does one do with a red neckerchief, pray tell? Nothing, Felix thought. 

Now they were on yet **another** islet. This time there was a large farm that dominated most of the town, if you could call it a town. Deep in the fields, standing remorsefully under a tree, was a large, sad, brown cow. When Felix saw it, immediately he was struck with how bored and sullen she looked. As he reached out to pet her head, she looked up, mooing excitedly. 

/Oh! That's such a lovely neckerchief. It would certainly lift my mooood!/ she bellowed in a smooth moo. /Please, if you could, tie it up on that branch. Then I would be able to admire it everyday!/ Feeling very sorry for the poor cow, Felix obligingly walked over to the tree she pointed to and pulled down the nearest branch. Just as he was about to tie the neckerchief around the thin wood, the cow suddenly turned around with incredible speed, so that her back was to him, and lashed out with her leg. All in three blinks of an eye, more or less. 

Felix's face whitened as he felt the hoof connect with his backside. "**_SON OF A - !_**" 

Sheba could've **sworn** that she heard the cow cackling evilly to herself in her mind. /Sucker./ 

Yet another islet. Felix was really starting to hate islet, since past experiences pointed out that islets were usually connected to animals. And Felix was starting to hate animals. Spawns of the devil, they were. Those were Felix's exact thoughts as he stepped onto the wooden platform. Around him people worked busily repairing small boats or whatnot. Piers scoffed as he took in the scene. "Such puny things... my ship could kick their asses," he muttered to himself in a very un-Piers-like way. 

As the four Adepts walked around, the islet's inhabitants mostly ignored them. Which was fine by them, really. Then they halted. Below them, on the shallow part, was a tiny dog. Whining pitifully to himself, he clawed and dug desperately through the water, only to reveal sand, sand and more sand. 

"Weird," Jenna commented. "He doesn't have anything with him... Why is he digging a hole then?" 

Her answer was revealed when Sheba cast Mind Read on the dog. /Thirsty... So... Thirsty... Water... Need water... to take over islet... and exact revenge.../ was what was on the dog's mind. Instantly Jenna and Sheba felt sorry for the dog, since they stopped listening around the part of him needing water, and so didn't catch his evil plans. Jenna slid up to Felix's side and tugged on her brother's cloak pleadingly. "Felix, go help him! He's dying of thirst." 

"So?" 

"Felix, why don't you use the milk that the cow gave you? You never use it, and it's just going to go bad anyway." Actually, that was Felix's original plan: to make the milk go bad so he could throw it back in the cow's face. But Jenna would never let him get away with it; she was too much of a control freak. "Felix...!" she pleaded, adopting puppy eyes for good measure. 

"Egh. Fine. Just stop doing that, it's scary." Sighing, and knowing he was going to regret the act of kindness, Felix walked down the stairs. /Water... Need... revenge... on pitiful humans.../ the dog thought to himself weakly. Of course, Felix didn't hear him, so he bent over and poured the milk before the dog. The canine gave a series of small yips of delight, lapping up the milk at such a high speed, even Felix was amazed. The dog was so excited, he began to jump up and down, before expressing his gratitude - 

"**UGH!** Aw man, that's _gross_!!" 

- by peeing all over Felix's boots. But, is that not the purest form of gratitude? 

No, not really. Moving on... 

Felix shut his eyes and struggled to think straight. How the hell did this happen? How could he, Felix, possible savior of the world, how the hell could he have ended up with this? Felix thought bitterly to himself as he stared down almost hatefully to the little green turtle in his hands. Sensing hostility from its new companion, the turtle sought to achieve peace between them by staring up at Felix in a most adorable fashion, big, black, shimmering eyes and all. 

Unfortunately, Felix refused to be won over. If he could've had his way, he would've hurled the turtle at the dog ages ago. But Jenna, being Jenna, would not hear of it. And so, Felix was stuck with yet **another** useless thing on his hands. He had almost wished that the dog had ate it; didn't he know that turtles were an excellent source of essential nutrients? 

That in mind, Felix trudged sulkily through the exotic jungles of the Apoji Islands. Piers nudged him playfully in the side, muttering, "Cheer up, Felix. Can't greet the villagers with a sour face." To show him that he could, Felix made a mental note to glare at every villager they came across. As they descended down the platforms onto the beach, they noticed a very dejected-looking turtle close to the water's edge. Piers walked off to converse with the man standing on the beach, but Sheba and Jenna marched over to the turtle, dragging a reluctant Felix along. 

Immediately Sheba cast Mind Read on it. They found that the turtle was in such a mood due to loneliness. While the girls sought to come up with a solution, Felix had just shoved his hands into his pockets only to be playfully nipped by a forgotten baby turtle - perhaps a bit too hard. With a cry of pain, Felix flung the turtle out of his pocket and right in front of the older turtle below. Suddenly, Sheba's mind nearly exploded when the turtle exclaimed with all its might: /A friend!! Lonesome George I am no longer!!!/ All the while Felix nursed his injured finger, muttering dark curses dangerously under his breath. 

Ah, Felix, you cheery, sunny boy, you. 

By the time the four Adepts walked back out of the Islet Cave, with a new summon tablet in hand, the sun was shining brightly. Felix was considerably more cheerful; after all, they had just come out with a new summon tablet for Catastrophe. And how can anyone with the power to summon the embodiment of destruction **not** be happy? 

I rest my case. 

Felix was in such a good mood that he was even whistling to himself, an act rarely seen by anyone. In front of him Sheba and Jenna twittered happily with Piers about their new success, asking questions and bubbling with joy and excitement about the possibility of new treasures and summons to be found. Felix, being Felix, was lost in his own world, which at the moment was a bright, cheerful, sunny one. So absorbed in his happiness, he failed to notice the sudden silence that overcame his companions, nor their sudden lack of movement - that is, until he ran into Sheba and almost pushed her into the water. 

All they could see were blue, blue, and more blue: blueness of the sea stretched out before and under them, and blueness of the sky that peeked out from above the raging waterfall. A tranquil and beautiful scene, except for one thing... 

"Felix...?" Jenna squeaked in a tiny voice, "how... how are we gonna get back to our ship?" 

Peering over Sheba's shoulder, what Felix saw was enough to almost result in him breaking down in tears. 

The goddamn turtle had gone back on his promise and **left them stranded on the island.**

... Sucks to be them. 

Back on the Apoji Islands, the elderly men that haunted the beach looked up suddenly towards the horizon as a flock of seagulls suddenly scattered into the air in a panicked and unorganized fashion, chased by the sound of a man's screaming as it echoed from across the sea. 


End file.
